Waiting for the Next Step

Exams are over and now, I’m simply waiting…

Waiting for the results of the exams, papers for nomination, for the results of the nomination, to be able to send out a visa application, for plans to be ‘set in stone’ or at least clear to what my future holds, and waiting to… adapt to this life.

It is amazing how time goes by so quickly when you look back, but so slowly when you look forward. The Christmas season is around the corner, as well as graduation (God willing that my grades are enough to pass my subjects) and then employment as a Registered Nurse.

One step at a time…

I’m scared about working at the unit as it usually hires experienced nurses and as it is a specialty area, I know I have to make sure that I am at least equipped with enough knowledge to survive. I need to survive, to strive, and show them that I am a hard worker so no regret shall ever pass their mind of hiring me. I know that the biggest contribution to my employment is my Clinical Preceptor and I don’t want to disappoint her.

Does add a bit of pressure on the whole thing, doesn’t it?

Things with PJ: we’re going to try it for one last time. We’ve been disagreeing and always saying that we should just try it one more time but this is the last. And we’re both aware of it. It’s just different, being with him and him being from another culture. But we shall just have to see.

I swam for the first time today since I’ve arrived; since I last swam back home, which was with my ex. It was relieving to know that I can still swim, and I realized as well is that what held me back from swimming was that he wasn’t there with me. At the end of laps, I couldn’t help but smile. To be doing something familiar again, and of course good for myself. And then I couldn’t help but remember the other times that I have swam, little memories attached to them and of course the people I was with. Just one of the moments where my head takes me back to some memories of the things I don’t have any more, but they are simply flashbacks and I let them be.

I've been wanting to bake and do small craft projects here and there, but I won't allow myself to because I know that I have to save money for the next step. Will only allow myself for the Christmas gifts that need to be sent out later on. Little sacrifices.

So I’m waiting for my life to slowly piece together and to form a foundation I can stand on as I continue to build my life here. My license as a nurse, employment in an amazing hospital and wonderful unit, rental of a room to save up cash for my own place, and the little bits that are still coming together (friends, comforts).

I’m so grateful and I want to, need to keep pushing on and wait and do what I need to build on this dream and life.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Final Exam Week of the Year

(retrieved via google.com.au)

It’s finally exam week! Not that I was looking forward to it with glee or happy thoughts, but it marks the coming of an end to the program and all that we have been working towards. Been cramming the past days with lectures and notes I have left neglected due to past days filled to complete hospital hours; and on the top of that, still working at the restaurant with more shifts than the usual. Everything is going alright though. I feel the stress and pressure, but I guess things could have gone worse? Positive thinking. Positive thinking.

Sadly though, I have also found out today that there’s been a problem with my ‘job offer’: they were not aware that they had to sponsor me for me to work with them! I am more than 100% sure I mentioned it to the unit manager even before we planned for the interview and her words were “that is alright, we’ll work it out after”. So, I talked to the human resource department this morning and I was instructed to talk to immigration first if I needed a nomination and talk to the unit manager to get her approval of whether she would like to hire me under a sponsorship or not. Panic! Pressure! 

(retrieved via google.com.au)

The excitement from getting a job offer slightly decreased (I say slightly because I’m still grateful that they offered me the job in the first place, even if it isn’t a complete offer now). I will do all that the HR officer has instructed me and hope and pray that everything works out.

If not, I know there’s a reason and that God has better plans for me.

Funny enough, I did get a call back from a hospital in NSW about my application to their graduate nurse program and scheduled an interview with them next week. I guess that’s a blessing in disguise too. I’m very grateful just to have options, although I guess it’s right to say they are not concrete options since no offer has been made, just the opportunity. But it’s still a great thing to know. Gives a bit of comfort I guess.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Things are still very unstable and the future is still unclear, but as the phrase I continue to repeat over and over again: I am hoping and praying for the best.

Wish me luck with exams! 

Note: In the title of this post, I say "Final Exam Week of the Year", because I'm not closing my mind to the possibility of studying again in the future. Ooo...