A Glimpse of a Long Time Inspiration

Her songs resonate simple love, hope and joy; her smile and charm calms and lightens up a gloomy long day. She’s a growing artist and a talent in her own right: composing songs and performing them online and live to audiences around the world. It all started with her strong passion and pure love of music and sharing it to the world to see on YouTube. She has been an inspiration to me from the a friend showed me a video of her singing with her sisters “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie (one of many favorite songs of mine). Her look is one I would want to capture too: curls, simplicity and confidence in one’s own beauty. She is so much of an inspiration that on my desktop wall, amidst images of personal goals for the year and inspirations, you will find a lovely picture of her with her guitar: in her happiness and confidence that she is doing what she was made to do.

Her name is Kina Grannis.

(retrieved from www.kinagrannis.com)

I’ve followed her for five now, before she entered “Crash the Super Bowl” in 2007, where she won the grand price and a recording contract with Interscope Records. She had a talent for beautifully simple but real lyrics and her voice was calming, cool and even close to angelic. Covers performed by herself and her sisters were incredible; truly the talent runs in the whole family.

She has been an inspiration to me mainly for one reason: she knew who she was and she stayed true to it. Her songwriting and performing styles clearly reflect her quirky yet charming personality. She extends her heart to others, even making efforts to include viewers to be part of her videos by putting together different posters and notes of messages by fans to their loved ones or family. She is clearly in love with music and people. And it is refreshing to see someone who is loyal to their upbringing and not get dragged into the soul-sucking world of fame and fans.

(retrieved from www.kinagrannis.com)

She knew what she wanted and she went for it. She knows who is she and stayed real throughout it. She’s an inspiration in a world and time where soul-searching can never find an end, and walks can become aimless through a culture of routines and false beauty.

I have an idea of what I want, but not a clear path yet. I don’t know who I am, but I’m getting there.

As a YouTube artist, I never imagined any opportunity to meet her unless I want to America, but… She performed at the Powerhouse, New Farm on Wednesday night. I bought a ticket a week before, instantly when I saw a post on Facebook of her arrival to Brisbane soon. I had an early start that morning, and an early start the next day. But despite it, I just couldn’t miss this opportunity to see her.

The performance was amazing. Her talent was tangible and her passion and love for it was visible. It was a dream come true; one I truly never thought would ever happen in my lifetime. She was so loving and wonderful and down-to-earth. She was refreshing. And her songs, being performed live, just flew up to a whole new level.

I sadly could not stay for the Meet&Greet, and I regret it in a way… But it’s pushed away by my gratitude to be able see her perform live. And that’s really all I can ever ask for.

www.kinagrannis.com

(Message From Your Heart by Kina Grannis)

(The song that won her "Crash the Super Bowl")

Mother Questions Emotions

I have been in a relationship for less than a month. He’s been good; I can clearly see he’s trying. Putting a label seems to have changed things a slight bit, making things just clearer on what to do and what to feel.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Mother’s been asking more and more about him. Basically asks questions about him every time she calls up to check on me. But lately, the questions are getting deeper and deeper.

“Do you feel the same way as you did with your ex?”

“Do you like him more?”

“What do you like about him?”

“Did you get into it because you were lonely?”

Those were her exact words. Straight to the point; as per usual from my mother.

Also told me that I should invite him to my brother’s wedding this coming Autumn. Repeatedly told me to ask him to make sure that I would. But with that said, I’m not even sure I want to bring him. Actually, I’m quite certain I don’t want to. To have him eternally in family pictures. Quite dangerous I would say. She means well though. Aware that I have met his family repeatedly, especially the mother, she feels the need to meet him too. I’ve assured though that it isn’t the same ‘meaning’ as it is to us to ‘meet the parents’.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

To answer her question, I assured her that it wasn’t a big thing; that I knew what I was doing; and that he was a good guy. All were true except for my confidence in saying that I knew what I was doing or how I was feeling.

It’s completely different from how it was before, but he’s a different person too. Less serious, more easy-going; over-all, the balance I need from my monotonous life of work and errands. But on the topic of feelings and emotions? I guess there still lies some uncertainty.

No rush, no pressure; in this aspect of my life, just going to go with the flow and let it be…

Side Note:

Apparently, relationships are only official if they're posted on Facebook. Welcome to the world of technology. Does not reflect too well on society though. 

Work vs Life

First full-time work and now I understand how hard it is to balance life outside of work. All you want to do is crash at home and do the most unproductive things, where your mind is allowed to switch off the remaining part of the day. Besides the chores and the little payments and grocery shopping, there hasn’t been much of ‘me-time’; a time to do something creative, to take care of myself (besides basic hygiene) or to just explore or live.

I hit a point where I felt like I was not living my life at all; as a person, I had stopped growing. (Professional-wise, work has been difficult but great; learning, adapting and trying.) I felt incompetent or like I had no goals in my life, or once I was working towards.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Over sparkling wine and beer, epiphany came about through a conversation with a good friend of mine: start or pick-up a hobby. An outlet to be creative, as I have always grown up to do things ‘extra-curricular’ or with school projects that required me to express what I wanted. Without that kind of platform, I had to take the initiative to put it back into my life and gain that balance. It can be a way to explore my thoughts and perceptions; as well as provide an activity to stir up my mind and skills.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

First project in mind: a painting for my living room. Klimt-inspired from his painting Water Snakes II, but instead of that fluidity of water, it would appear more of ‘nature’ derived, with leaves, greens and the flow of the wind.

(Water Snakes II, Gustav Klimt; retrieved via google.com.au)

Another thing I need to incorporate into my life is also a physical balance: food, activity and energy. All this to produce a better, happy and ‘in-tuned’ me.

OK. First step: admitting what I need to do and planning it out.

Next part, the most difficult: actually applying it.

This should be interesting…

On Both Ends

That awkward moment when you say those three little words from someone and get back a reply… not a reply, but a correction, an uncertainty or a different comment.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

I’ve been on the end to question it, when it was first uttered to me. And now, have been on the other awkward end of not receiving a reply (although in reality, I wasn’t expecting any at all). It was a ‘blurt’, an escape of words; a word spasm if I may say so.

It was completely embarrassing on my part, and I recalled back when I (somewhat) declined another of those words. Not the best of moments when you realize that the ‘special’ moment wasn’t real, because the other person didn’t feel the same way as you did.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

My feelings for him though are not intense, overwhelming or even life-changing. They’re simple, small and still young. They have reached a little over the point of just ‘like’, so may lie the logic behind using those four letter words no one likes to admit openly.

It was premature and down-right uncertain on my part anyways. But with that said, I have no actual regrets (oddly), because I can now say I’ve been on both ends and know how it feels.

Charge to experience.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

It’s a funny thought though, when this occurred, because if this happened to me two-years ago, I would give myself complete hell for being an idiot and probably causing such a drama for myself, rather than accepting the situation and charging it to experience. Funny indeed how time goes by and without you knowing it… your perception has changed, and maybe, just maybe, you’re growing up.