Moving My Turtle Shell

January has passed by TOO quickly.

It feels like only yesterday that we dropped off my parents at the airport from the holidays to head home, and in a few days, I'll be moving to my own place and after that... starting a new job.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

I've spent the week packing up my things into boxes and organizing how to fit things into the car and the ute I've rented for the move. Packing your comforts and life into boxes is a funny feeling. You reminisce on memories attached to things; debate the importance of old notes or extra toiletries.

The room is slowly looking as it was on the day I arrived. It's amazing to think that almost a year has passed since I walked into this room clueless of the things to come and hopeful for the future.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Exactly a year before, I was doing the same thing but in my room on the little island. Packing up little things out of belongings I've accumulated over my childhood and more.

Time is a funny thing.

Jason Mraz 'I Won't Give Up'

This music video has his 1.9M views since was uploaded on the 2nd of January; that's a week!


Jason Mraz writes such simple lyrics but the words always ring true to what you see and feel in life.

In his new song "I Won't Give Up", he describes perfectly what I need to see from a guy. It is the very fundamental thing I look for in a guy: the willingness to try despite the differences and difficulties. These are the very words that I want, no, need to hear from the man I will spend the rest of my life with.
The exact words, the exact words...
If I finally find someone who can say and do these words in reality... I'll know that he's the right partner for me.

Maybe soon, maybe later...

Back to Step One: Friends

Being in a completely new country, you have no foundation for friends, familiarity, places you can run to. School is out and everyone is moving on to their own direction; friends disperse to the north, west and south. That brings me back to step one: find friends. Not just acquaintances, but friends whom you feel your most comfortable with and can call upon without a second's thought.

Yesterday was a day-off from work. Woke up, overslept. And I walked around the unit thinking what should I do today. Started to think of people I can call upon to hang out with...

Let's call her. Nah, she's probably working today.
What about her? She's too far, she can't come down.
And him? He's a creep.
Then....
The list stops.

I realized that there were only a hand full of people I comfortable call my friends, and a small group whom I call true friends. And with these people leaving to start their careers, it seems like the world became a little bit bleaker and lonelier.

Frustrating when you have all these things you want to do, but have no one to do it with.

I was itching the whole week to go clubbing last night. Didn't happen. Why? No one to go with.
Instead, I walked around the city on my own. Bought some things that weren't deadly important but needed nonetheless. The city seemed a lonelier place than it was a couple of days ago, when I was surrounded with my family.

So step one.
It is in my new years resolution to join groups or clubs and what not to achieve this, but... Can't do at the moment. No money to join such things. So just going to tough it out for a bit. And wait.

Back to step one...

Prolonged Ending

PJ finally opened up the conversation with me about where we were heading with all this, and we both suspected the end of it but towards the end, somehow, it turned around... and we decided to give it another shot. Again.

My new year resolution still stands. Things are going to be about me and who I am. I'm not going to push or demand things with and from PJ; will simply let things unfold on their own and enjoy what is.

On a side note with the other parts of my life: slowly packed up the little things in my room; enjoying the sloth-ness of the week; very slowly studying (know I should be doing more).

One step at a time.