Scratching Old Wounds

Its a wonder how emotions can play tricks on you. Being still and silent and transformed into a monster with a tiny provocation...

Closest friend of mine back home is a nurse like me. We've gone through things in college and shared a bond from then on. She's aware of my past and my secrets. I am aware of most of hers (I have a feeling she has more under her sleeves), but I accept her for all she is nonetheless.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

She messaged me a couple of days back about how she is now in the same hospital area as my ex. The word that was repeated with no fail in her message was "awkward". Co-workers knew who she was in relation to me and my ex, even his current girl. Described to me that her co-workers at one point didn't understand why my ex and I decided to end it without trying a long distance relationship when they can clearly see how in-love we were. She calmly explained to them that my intentions were pure and, as they can all see now, it was for his good and happiness: he's with a new girl. My ex apparently described me to them as the nicest girl he's met. Reading that line was a relief and a sting too. I still think fondly of him, and probably always will.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Reading the letter was like scratching at an old scar with the scabs peeling off with a bit of fresh flesh. I haven't thought of him or 'us' in a while and the letter stirred up old emotions of pain and sadness. I still think we were a great match; a partnership that could not fail because it always worked out, despite the valleys and falls. And I honestly can't imagine a partnership like that for myself anytime soon. Even with my current 'partner', it's more of companionship and happy-feeling s. It's not a bad thing, it's just not... the real thing?

Nonetheless, I'm happy that my ex is happy.
I'll get there soon enough...