Foodie Feats: Ending October, Hello November

(The Giant Omelette! - Chicken, Red Capsicum,  Spinach)

(Halloween treats! - Death by Oreo cupcakes)

(Sesame overload! - Sesame Crumbed Chicken with  Sesame Spinach)

Foodie Feats : October

Foodie feats for October! 

There may be more the coming week, but who knows! Here it is for now. 

(Takoyaki! Partner ordered a Dutch Pancake Maker online and surprised me one night.)

(Salmon Rice Porridge - tried to imitate what I would have back home from my mom.)

(Giant crinkles! Failed sale but at least the boys at basketball enjoyed them.)

(Made Baked Tuna Pasta with some Zucchini & Beans)

(Had left-over tomato sauce so used it to make Tomato Soup! With mushrooms and  spinach.)

Aaaand... Something I tried to do over the weekend.

(Rubbed, Scrubbed & Polished)

Relax? What' that?

The days are running by so quickly, it has been a literal up and down for me.

Home hasn't felt like home for a while, probably a mix of reasons. But adapting to things, looking forward to getting my own place. To have that full independence, but one certainty is, finance will be very tight and need to be extra cautious.

Too many thoughts run through my mind the past months and days, that it becomes a clutter, instead of a clear image of that it is and what I need to do. Even things that shouldn't be a big deal or matters that aren't important clutter and clog my mind.

It has come to a point, my mind and life, that I do not know how not to function without so much thoughts in my mind. And it has affected me in a way that... I don't know how to relax anymore. It's taking a toll emotionally, physically and mentally.

( Retrieved via www.google.com.au)

Emotionally, I get easily frustrated, and take it out too easily on people, specifically a person. Small matters become big issues. And stress levels are too quickly reached.
Physically, I easily tire but feel restless...

But I am so grateful for my partner, who continues to bear me and remind me of how I get at times. To breathe. To relax. Sad to say, easier said than done.

Relaxing should be an easy thing, as the perception goes. Sit down and watch television. Listen to the radio. Read a book.
But because of the clutters in my mind, it seems difficult.
I still have yet to find that balance, which I have so long been trying to do since I've stepped into this continent. But still evades me somehow.

Getting there, slowly, I believe. I hope.
I think of things I want to do, I hope to do. Ideas and dreams more than anything. But financial thoughts quickly kick-in, balancing and budgeting. Have no confidence in saying that I can do what I want, completely, just yet.

And friends. Friends are one of the most important things to have in your life. They balance your life, keep you healthy, fit, and most importantly... sane.
The friends that I have come to hold have gone far, or are too busy with work, so meet-ups and catch-ups are rare. So, between those times, although grateful I am for my partner, there is no one to talk to, laugh with, share random things with, or simply enjoy a good chat with.

It's not as easy as they say to make friends. Most people would have met them through school or work. Friends from my school life are far or busy, and my workmates are older than I that they have families to look after.
I am grateful for one good soul who I feel connected too; busy with her life and family too, but our minds connect on a good level.
Grateful for that.

(Retrieved via www.google.com.au)

Maybe all I need to do is focus on what I would like to do, to try, and experience, and maybe I'll find friends that way. Join a club? (Joining fee) Try new things? (Costs and expenses) Join a class? (Fees fees fess).
Will figure something out soon enough.

Need to breathe. Need to just... be. Need to learn to set time to work, plan, think... And time to do nothing at all...

Breathe in... Breathe out...

Re-Post: 45 Life Lessons, written by a 90 Year Old

  

45 LIFE LESSONS, WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

#personal  #life  #life lessons  

∞  SEPTEMBER 17, 2012

VIA REGINABRETT.COM

Foodie Feats

I know I haven't been posting as much as I should be. There are so many things I want to put into there but just haven't found time to just yet. But I'm still thankful nonetheless to have this journal, as an escape, a reflection, and an over-all venting place during those times (which is close to 'all the time') when no one is around to talk to.

Nevertheless, here is a part of what remains good in and to my life... Food.
There is no doubt in the world of my love for food and all things related to this; and most especially, baking and baked goods. Except for the effects of eating so much food (weight gain and low self-esteem), food has slowly set its roots into me and I have come to want more and more to taste, replicate, learn and create new and old things and recipes. The time and money is always an issue, but in those moments when I all things in the universe allow me to do so... I stay in the kitchen and delve into another place in my mind.

Photos are always the best way to showcase and preserve memories, and no doubt, the whole world is obsessed with taking pictures of everything; so here are some of my Foodie Feats (a new name for the coming blogs and etc.)...

(My first attempt on a Warm Apple Crumble)

(An attempt on a Stuffed Cabbage Soup)

Aaaaaannddd.... Just for a little laugh.

Hoping for more opportunities to learn and grow in the kitchen, besides make the necessary rice and egg.
Other things going on too, but that'll be for another time.

.Fingers & toes crossed.

Re-Post: 19 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Stumbled Upon : http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2CrSVj

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  
   
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  
    
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

Paulo Coelho: On the Acceptance of Beauty

"We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognise it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.
We try to be what other people think of as ‘pretty’ and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.We forget that the world is what we imagine it to be.We stop being the moonlight and become, instead, the pool of water reflecting it. Tomorrow, the water will evaporate in the sun. And all because, one day, someone said: ‘You are ugly.’ Or: ‘She is pretty.’ With those three simple words, they stole away all our self-confidence. And we become ugly and embittered."


Manuscript found in Accra - dates of publication here >http://bit.ly/Ov0WK6


(Taken from Paulo Coelho's Facebook Feed)

Hello again!

It has been ages since I've been around the blog; my apologies. Did give a warning that I was working on a project and it has finally launched but not exactly off the ground... just yet. Working hard on it and slowly, but praying and hoping it all works well. Will write a proper entry on it soon.

But for now, enjoy these little shots from the weeks~

(Mr.Snail living in my mailbox during the Raining Season)

(Baked Mexican Chicken Wrap with Avocado & Salad)

(Coconut Cupcake topped with Ricotta & Shredded Coconut)

(Apricot & Date Granola Bar topped with Dark Chocolate)

(Pink Moist Vanilla Cupcakes)

(Japanese Soy Chicken & Egg Rice Bowl - "Oyakudon")

(From the top of the Cultural Centre Busway)

Upcoming Project

I’ve got a project I’m working on at the moment; still in its planning stage, but I won’t share it to the world for now. It seems to work out more when I keep it to myself a little longer and share it when it’s already in its full existence.

Just keep an eye out for a post about it soon. Exciting.

Besides that, work is slowly becoming a part of my life. Still a lot of learning, but I don’t think it’ll ever change. Working towards getting the basic things of society; first of for now is: an Australian driver’s license. Manual driving here is a bit different from how I was “taught” to do it back home. (I use the quotation mark because I can’t really say honestly I was taught proper techniques anyways). Best wishes to me on that because I can only afford to do the test once. Pray for me.

Life in the moment of time is… alright.

Work is going stable.

No complaints with my relationship with PJ (shocking though that I am in a relationship; odd).

Weekends are spent quietly on a couch or working on the project or cleaning the house.

It’s not a hectic time in my life and I’m quite grateful for that. A little break from all that rushing and stress to get to this point; but it won’t last too long. I still want to achieve things, learn and grow more.

I’m not a fully-baked cookie just yet. 

A Glimpse of a Long Time Inspiration

Her songs resonate simple love, hope and joy; her smile and charm calms and lightens up a gloomy long day. She’s a growing artist and a talent in her own right: composing songs and performing them online and live to audiences around the world. It all started with her strong passion and pure love of music and sharing it to the world to see on YouTube. She has been an inspiration to me from the a friend showed me a video of her singing with her sisters “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” by Death Cab for Cutie (one of many favorite songs of mine). Her look is one I would want to capture too: curls, simplicity and confidence in one’s own beauty. She is so much of an inspiration that on my desktop wall, amidst images of personal goals for the year and inspirations, you will find a lovely picture of her with her guitar: in her happiness and confidence that she is doing what she was made to do.

Her name is Kina Grannis.

(retrieved from www.kinagrannis.com)

I’ve followed her for five now, before she entered “Crash the Super Bowl” in 2007, where she won the grand price and a recording contract with Interscope Records. She had a talent for beautifully simple but real lyrics and her voice was calming, cool and even close to angelic. Covers performed by herself and her sisters were incredible; truly the talent runs in the whole family.

She has been an inspiration to me mainly for one reason: she knew who she was and she stayed true to it. Her songwriting and performing styles clearly reflect her quirky yet charming personality. She extends her heart to others, even making efforts to include viewers to be part of her videos by putting together different posters and notes of messages by fans to their loved ones or family. She is clearly in love with music and people. And it is refreshing to see someone who is loyal to their upbringing and not get dragged into the soul-sucking world of fame and fans.

(retrieved from www.kinagrannis.com)

She knew what she wanted and she went for it. She knows who is she and stayed real throughout it. She’s an inspiration in a world and time where soul-searching can never find an end, and walks can become aimless through a culture of routines and false beauty.

I have an idea of what I want, but not a clear path yet. I don’t know who I am, but I’m getting there.

As a YouTube artist, I never imagined any opportunity to meet her unless I want to America, but… She performed at the Powerhouse, New Farm on Wednesday night. I bought a ticket a week before, instantly when I saw a post on Facebook of her arrival to Brisbane soon. I had an early start that morning, and an early start the next day. But despite it, I just couldn’t miss this opportunity to see her.

The performance was amazing. Her talent was tangible and her passion and love for it was visible. It was a dream come true; one I truly never thought would ever happen in my lifetime. She was so loving and wonderful and down-to-earth. She was refreshing. And her songs, being performed live, just flew up to a whole new level.

I sadly could not stay for the Meet&Greet, and I regret it in a way… But it’s pushed away by my gratitude to be able see her perform live. And that’s really all I can ever ask for.

www.kinagrannis.com

(Message From Your Heart by Kina Grannis)

(The song that won her "Crash the Super Bowl")

Mother Questions Emotions

I have been in a relationship for less than a month. He’s been good; I can clearly see he’s trying. Putting a label seems to have changed things a slight bit, making things just clearer on what to do and what to feel.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Mother’s been asking more and more about him. Basically asks questions about him every time she calls up to check on me. But lately, the questions are getting deeper and deeper.

“Do you feel the same way as you did with your ex?”

“Do you like him more?”

“What do you like about him?”

“Did you get into it because you were lonely?”

Those were her exact words. Straight to the point; as per usual from my mother.

Also told me that I should invite him to my brother’s wedding this coming Autumn. Repeatedly told me to ask him to make sure that I would. But with that said, I’m not even sure I want to bring him. Actually, I’m quite certain I don’t want to. To have him eternally in family pictures. Quite dangerous I would say. She means well though. Aware that I have met his family repeatedly, especially the mother, she feels the need to meet him too. I’ve assured though that it isn’t the same ‘meaning’ as it is to us to ‘meet the parents’.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

To answer her question, I assured her that it wasn’t a big thing; that I knew what I was doing; and that he was a good guy. All were true except for my confidence in saying that I knew what I was doing or how I was feeling.

It’s completely different from how it was before, but he’s a different person too. Less serious, more easy-going; over-all, the balance I need from my monotonous life of work and errands. But on the topic of feelings and emotions? I guess there still lies some uncertainty.

No rush, no pressure; in this aspect of my life, just going to go with the flow and let it be…

Side Note:

Apparently, relationships are only official if they're posted on Facebook. Welcome to the world of technology. Does not reflect too well on society though. 

Work vs Life

First full-time work and now I understand how hard it is to balance life outside of work. All you want to do is crash at home and do the most unproductive things, where your mind is allowed to switch off the remaining part of the day. Besides the chores and the little payments and grocery shopping, there hasn’t been much of ‘me-time’; a time to do something creative, to take care of myself (besides basic hygiene) or to just explore or live.

I hit a point where I felt like I was not living my life at all; as a person, I had stopped growing. (Professional-wise, work has been difficult but great; learning, adapting and trying.) I felt incompetent or like I had no goals in my life, or once I was working towards.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Over sparkling wine and beer, epiphany came about through a conversation with a good friend of mine: start or pick-up a hobby. An outlet to be creative, as I have always grown up to do things ‘extra-curricular’ or with school projects that required me to express what I wanted. Without that kind of platform, I had to take the initiative to put it back into my life and gain that balance. It can be a way to explore my thoughts and perceptions; as well as provide an activity to stir up my mind and skills.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

First project in mind: a painting for my living room. Klimt-inspired from his painting Water Snakes II, but instead of that fluidity of water, it would appear more of ‘nature’ derived, with leaves, greens and the flow of the wind.

(Water Snakes II, Gustav Klimt; retrieved via google.com.au)

Another thing I need to incorporate into my life is also a physical balance: food, activity and energy. All this to produce a better, happy and ‘in-tuned’ me.

OK. First step: admitting what I need to do and planning it out.

Next part, the most difficult: actually applying it.

This should be interesting…

On Both Ends

That awkward moment when you say those three little words from someone and get back a reply… not a reply, but a correction, an uncertainty or a different comment.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

I’ve been on the end to question it, when it was first uttered to me. And now, have been on the other awkward end of not receiving a reply (although in reality, I wasn’t expecting any at all). It was a ‘blurt’, an escape of words; a word spasm if I may say so.

It was completely embarrassing on my part, and I recalled back when I (somewhat) declined another of those words. Not the best of moments when you realize that the ‘special’ moment wasn’t real, because the other person didn’t feel the same way as you did.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

My feelings for him though are not intense, overwhelming or even life-changing. They’re simple, small and still young. They have reached a little over the point of just ‘like’, so may lie the logic behind using those four letter words no one likes to admit openly.

It was premature and down-right uncertain on my part anyways. But with that said, I have no actual regrets (oddly), because I can now say I’ve been on both ends and know how it feels.

Charge to experience.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

It’s a funny thought though, when this occurred, because if this happened to me two-years ago, I would give myself complete hell for being an idiot and probably causing such a drama for myself, rather than accepting the situation and charging it to experience. Funny indeed how time goes by and without you knowing it… your perception has changed, and maybe, just maybe, you’re growing up.

Scratching Old Wounds

Its a wonder how emotions can play tricks on you. Being still and silent and transformed into a monster with a tiny provocation...

Closest friend of mine back home is a nurse like me. We've gone through things in college and shared a bond from then on. She's aware of my past and my secrets. I am aware of most of hers (I have a feeling she has more under her sleeves), but I accept her for all she is nonetheless.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

She messaged me a couple of days back about how she is now in the same hospital area as my ex. The word that was repeated with no fail in her message was "awkward". Co-workers knew who she was in relation to me and my ex, even his current girl. Described to me that her co-workers at one point didn't understand why my ex and I decided to end it without trying a long distance relationship when they can clearly see how in-love we were. She calmly explained to them that my intentions were pure and, as they can all see now, it was for his good and happiness: he's with a new girl. My ex apparently described me to them as the nicest girl he's met. Reading that line was a relief and a sting too. I still think fondly of him, and probably always will.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Reading the letter was like scratching at an old scar with the scabs peeling off with a bit of fresh flesh. I haven't thought of him or 'us' in a while and the letter stirred up old emotions of pain and sadness. I still think we were a great match; a partnership that could not fail because it always worked out, despite the valleys and falls. And I honestly can't imagine a partnership like that for myself anytime soon. Even with my current 'partner', it's more of companionship and happy-feeling s. It's not a bad thing, it's just not... the real thing?

Nonetheless, I'm happy that my ex is happy.
I'll get there soon enough...

Advice from an FB App: Contentment

On this day of your life, we believe God wants you to know ... that contentment comes from unconditional love.

When you love conditionally, you have to keep deciding if the other is worthy of your love. You can never let go of your guard enough to be content. Why not decide once and for all, and love once and for all. And be content.

Start of the Next Chapter

Realized last night that I haven't blogged in the longest time. So much has been going on; changes and a beginning of a new chapter.

(retrieve via google.com.au)

Been in the new unit for close to three weeks and I'm comfortable and calm. It isn't a hectic environment around, and I guess the lack of furniture allows so much space to enjoy and embrace. No clutter or bulks around. For now at least.

Its my second week with the new job and there's just so much things to learn, read, routines to pick up, flows I need to understand; but the staff and doctors have been pleasant so far. And it's encouraging. Two were even nice enough to lend me chairs to use in the unit while I save up enough to buy my own.

Finance-wise, things are still tight and there are still things I need to get (my priority being my airfare for my brother's wedding and possibly a stop-over home) and earning money for myself from a career I have been studying for is different. And good.

All-in-all, it really is just the start of a new chapter and things will slowly unfold but at this very point of time, it seems everything will be alright. With time and faith, all things meant to be will be.

This was a very quick run through wasn't it? I guess when it comes to writing, most people are only driven to write such 'hard-core' blogs when they're in such a tight and difficult situation. In this state, all I really am is... grateful. Very grateful.

One step at a time...

Moving My Turtle Shell

January has passed by TOO quickly.

It feels like only yesterday that we dropped off my parents at the airport from the holidays to head home, and in a few days, I'll be moving to my own place and after that... starting a new job.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

I've spent the week packing up my things into boxes and organizing how to fit things into the car and the ute I've rented for the move. Packing your comforts and life into boxes is a funny feeling. You reminisce on memories attached to things; debate the importance of old notes or extra toiletries.

The room is slowly looking as it was on the day I arrived. It's amazing to think that almost a year has passed since I walked into this room clueless of the things to come and hopeful for the future.

(retrieved via google.com.au)

Exactly a year before, I was doing the same thing but in my room on the little island. Packing up little things out of belongings I've accumulated over my childhood and more.

Time is a funny thing.

Jason Mraz 'I Won't Give Up'

This music video has his 1.9M views since was uploaded on the 2nd of January; that's a week!


Jason Mraz writes such simple lyrics but the words always ring true to what you see and feel in life.

In his new song "I Won't Give Up", he describes perfectly what I need to see from a guy. It is the very fundamental thing I look for in a guy: the willingness to try despite the differences and difficulties. These are the very words that I want, no, need to hear from the man I will spend the rest of my life with.
The exact words, the exact words...
If I finally find someone who can say and do these words in reality... I'll know that he's the right partner for me.

Maybe soon, maybe later...

Back to Step One: Friends

Being in a completely new country, you have no foundation for friends, familiarity, places you can run to. School is out and everyone is moving on to their own direction; friends disperse to the north, west and south. That brings me back to step one: find friends. Not just acquaintances, but friends whom you feel your most comfortable with and can call upon without a second's thought.

Yesterday was a day-off from work. Woke up, overslept. And I walked around the unit thinking what should I do today. Started to think of people I can call upon to hang out with...

Let's call her. Nah, she's probably working today.
What about her? She's too far, she can't come down.
And him? He's a creep.
Then....
The list stops.

I realized that there were only a hand full of people I comfortable call my friends, and a small group whom I call true friends. And with these people leaving to start their careers, it seems like the world became a little bit bleaker and lonelier.

Frustrating when you have all these things you want to do, but have no one to do it with.

I was itching the whole week to go clubbing last night. Didn't happen. Why? No one to go with.
Instead, I walked around the city on my own. Bought some things that weren't deadly important but needed nonetheless. The city seemed a lonelier place than it was a couple of days ago, when I was surrounded with my family.

So step one.
It is in my new years resolution to join groups or clubs and what not to achieve this, but... Can't do at the moment. No money to join such things. So just going to tough it out for a bit. And wait.

Back to step one...

Prolonged Ending

PJ finally opened up the conversation with me about where we were heading with all this, and we both suspected the end of it but towards the end, somehow, it turned around... and we decided to give it another shot. Again.

My new year resolution still stands. Things are going to be about me and who I am. I'm not going to push or demand things with and from PJ; will simply let things unfold on their own and enjoy what is.

On a side note with the other parts of my life: slowly packed up the little things in my room; enjoying the sloth-ness of the week; very slowly studying (know I should be doing more).

One step at a time.