Survival

Hi.

I've been in a new country for about a month and a half, and I can slowly feel my mind drifting into indifference towards the wonderful world around me. Busy schedule, no time to fully recuperate from stressful days, and rare chances to meet people or to talk. This blog has been created to serve as a place to air out mundane things and thoughts, in hope that my sanity will not be lost in a busy world of money and superficial dreams.

For the first couple of nights in this new country, I've cried myself to sleep, dreaming of home and praying that the choice I've made was the best thing for me in the end. It's hard to make friends when you've only seen your fellow program-mates 3 to 5 times during the whole course, and the people you work with are either older than you, or already have their own lives. Taking little steps to move closer to the ones that I can, but of course, not the same as the loved ones I've left at home.

I'm a dreamer, a believer of good things and a child within a little lady's soul.

I will sound like a teenager; I will sound like a mature woman. I am female. It is to be expected.

I suffer alongside people taking buses and trains to get to work, to school, and to more work. On average, I wait thirty minutes to an hour for the next leg of my journey home or to other places. I'd sit on benches, staring aimlessly into the ground or into the sky, admiring the formation of clouds, with thoughts jumping from one random thing to the next.

This is my tool to survive. Not with any intent to impress the mass or create a revolution through this blog; just a simple act of surviving in the world without any notice.

I'm no different from the girl sitting next to you on your way home, or waiting in line to order a quick lunch before heading back to work.

This is me talking to myself, using a keyboard as a pen and the cyberspace as my paper.

That's it.