Alone again

The title is harsh and I know I do have people in my life, but in this little post, I'm referring to a partner in this chapter of my life to be with.

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During graduation, no family.
And now, no partner to hang around with and share affection with. Yes, no more PJ.
And for tomorrow's family BBQ (family is arriving tom), no friends to represent 'my side' because they're all busy or too shy. Again, no one to represent.

So yeah. I'm alone again.
My heart opened up for a new man, but pushed away to prioritize their own life.
I guess I always knew it to end this way, and I did want him to end it for me, but the pain can never be avoided. Yeah, it does hurt.

I want to cry but the tears won't come out after I held it in the whole bus trip home. I got his text a couple of minutes before I got on the bus.

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Alone again.
Chubbier. Unstable. Struggling.
On my own again.

I need to believe that I can do this on my own. Need to know who I am on my own.
Easier said than done.